Clinging

Two weeks ago my career changed…..again. Like an ant clinging to a leaf in a muddy puddle, I am still floating along with the same company - but I now head the marketing department AND the landscape architecture department. When my boss asked me what I thought, I said that ‘I was grateful to have a job and would be happy to help out wherever I am needed’ (and I mentioned that the marketing department is where employees go to die - as I have not seen them last very long – but I am determined to change that). I then offered my services as janitor, window cleaner and grass mower – just kidding – sort of – I mean I would if I could get a raise. In all honesty, I have been helping with the marketing at each company I have worked for, so the transition has not been too difficult, and I get to write a lot which I like. Every spot has its challenges, but so far these challenges revolve more around patience and flexibility than anything else. Those happen to be a couple of my professional weak points, so this is probably good for me. If my end game is to open my own business, I am getting valuable company marketing experience and if not, I am expanding my skill base – I cannot complain.

With the economy like it is, many landscape architects are losing their jobs, changing careers, and going back to school. I worry for the profession in five years when all of this has passed and we need the young workforce that we’re losing right now. I guess this is probably happening in many professions, and honestly, I’ve considered changing careers. Before I took this job I condensed my work week at my old job to 40 hours in 4 days and began substitute teaching on Fridays to see if that was a career that I might like to pursue. Adventure ensued.

I subbed a few days at different schools in a couple different areas, and grades but on the first day, I learned some very important lessons. I was teaching 5th grade English at a great Montessori School. When I entered the school I went to the office and signed in, and then proceeded to try to find my classroom. I got there early, and there weren’t a lot of students or teachers around, so I must have seemed a little lost – wandering around the corridors of a large empty two story school. Business person that I am, I had on some sensible heels. (FYI - bad idea – very loud and uncomfortable – I didn’t realize how much standing and walking teachers do). Shortly after my arrival, I was approached by a talkative young person who proceeded to ask me who I was and why I was there and then offered to show me to my classroom. We had a one sided conversation along the way, as I was trying to mentally catalogue what I was passing in this maze so that I could find my way back after lunch. Upon arrival at the classroom, a teacher was standing in the doorway. She welcomed me, and I proceeded to tell her how helpful the young man had been who had just shown me the way, to which she responded ‘young woman’. Ouch.

I didn’t know what to say. I stammered some lame apology about being distracted, not getting enough sleep, the short hair on kids these days, maybe even a lie about being blind in my right eye, but nothing could repair the awful mistake I had just made. I remember those awkward pre-pubescent years when I did not look that different from a boy, they were hard. Then I tried to imagine what it would have been like if an adult woman mistook me for a boy. It would have been harder. After the student left (remarkably un-fazed in my opinion) the teacher assured me that the particular young person that I just insulted was very confident and well-liked and that I had not just ruined her life. Lesson number one: all children are sexless until proved otherwise. This lesson proves valuable with new babies as well – although I have learned that new moms get offended when you ask how ‘it’ is doing or what ‘it’ is.

The rest of the day went well, and when I got into the car after working from 730 to 330, I was completely mentally and physically exhausted. Those kids kept me on my toes all day long – watching for english subject related weaknesses, passing notes, bathroom passes, fifth grade angst, trying to get out of classroom chores, random questions, and the crazy part? These were really, really good kids – with parents who read to them and care about them and know what is going on in their lives. Lesson number two: teaching is HARD.

After the Montessori school 5th graders I tried my hand at a local public high school – a friend of mine was nice enough to use me as her sub when she went out of town a couple of times. I had 10th grade history and 11th grade sociology. High School was enjoyable from the teacher standpoint – who knew teachers are funny? They get together on breaks and laugh and watch YouTube videos, talk about students, clean graffiti and gum off of desks, and have a level of camaraderie that I did not know existed. I always suspected they were real people. As to the students, they were even more aware - of my weaknesses, of the fact that I was a substitute, of their own size, and, maybe the most sad part – that they were legally required to be there, whether they applied themselves or not. I loved it. It was a challenge like I had not experienced before. I won’t go into all of the details, but I am pretty sure that drugs were dealt in my classroom and I definitely kept a list of words that I didn’t understand which I looked up that night on urbandictionary.com. All of them related to drugs or race, but hey, at least none of them meant ‘uppity white b who doesn’t know what the h she’s doing’ so I figure I did pretty well. Lesson number three: there is a whole world out there that I do not know anything about.

Who knows, teaching might be in my future, but making less money than I make right now to do a much harder job is not a decision to be made lightly. For now I think I’ll keep clinging to my leaf.